::squeal:: i have a new layout! ^^ billy from good charlotte this time round... i don't care if people call good charlotte posuers. i still like them. ^^

and im listening to Meteora (linkin park) right now... the last song, numb, really reminds me of my relationships with quite a few people.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be,

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface,

I don't know what you're expecting of me,

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is

Another mistake to you.

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb,

I can't feel you there,

Become so tired,

So much more aware,

I'm becoming this,

All I want to do,

Is be more like me,

And be less like you.

Can't you see that your smothering me,

Holding too tightly

Afraid to lose control,

'Cause everything that you thought I would be,

Has fallen apart, right in front of you.

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is

Another mistake to you.

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow

And every second I waste

Is more than I can take.

I've become so numb,

I can't feel you there,

Become so tired,

So much more aware,

I'm becomming this,

All I want to do,

Is be more like me,

And be less like you.

And I know I may end up failing too,

But I know you were just like me,

With someone disappointed in you.

I've become so numb,

I can't feel you there,

Become so tired,

So much more aware,

I'm becomming this,

All I want to do,

Is be more like me,

And be less like you.

I've become so numb,

I can't feel you there,

I'm tired of being what you want me to be.

I've become so numb,

I can't feel you there,

I'm tired of being what you want me to be.

my reasoning behind this is this...

for a really long time, i was trying to be something i wasn't... i was trying to fit in. and yet i was never good enough... there was always /someone/ that didn't approve, didn't think i was good enough. and im tired of that...

school starts tommorrow, and ricky and i have made a pact: both of us are going to get through the year. no cutting, no etching, no suicide attempts. we're both going to make it. and no one is going to get to us, not to the point where we can't see for the pain. and i plan on sticking to that... no one is worth that kind of pain. no one deserves that power over me. and i plan on not letting anyone have that power.

and im ending this now. ^^ luff all round!

-noelle