I'm listening to my Sugarcult CD right now, and the song that's playing, 'Saying Goodbye', is making total sense. The lyrics:

She kisses everyone goodbye
And waves her middle finger high
They're never gonna mess with her again
The drama queen is seventeen
And sleeping with boys for free
She's got a reputation of being easy
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She thinks about herself and cares about nobody else
because the only friends she has all put her down
They hate her when she's beautiful and even more when she's a fool
They talk behind her back when it's her birthday
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She's saying goodbye, she's wasted all her loney tear drops
Saying goodbye, she's used up all her lonely tear drops now
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away from here
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicious cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops now

It totally fits, because after being friends with Halie in 5th grade and then having them talk behind my back, I haven't made a single friend in RL who gives a shit about who I am, what kind of a person I am. All of the RL friends I hang out with at lunch, I'm not really friends with them. It's kind of a mutual using so that no one gets called a loner. I admit it, I do it too. And now that I know that that's all it is, I don't really care as much. But Maddie, my supposed best friend, was hanging out in front of the music room this morning. I waved at her, and then said something about spraining my wrist. She was like, 'yeah, so? I don't care,' so I was like, 'I don't even know why I even try,' and stormed into the music room. She came in with Nikole, (who also didn't care about my sprained wrist...she actually laughed at me...stupid bints), and was like, 'well, you did the same thing to me last year,' and then left, because first bell rang. I was like, 'you bitch! When you first started having problems, and didn't know what was going on, who was there for you whenever you needed me? Uh, that would me!' Then, I got plenty of time to dwell on being pissed off, because I did absolutely nothing during music. Stupid sprained wrist...I can't play my bass at all until Monday, and my music teacher is doing tests right now. On 'Amazing Grace', no less. I suck at that song, which is not good. And I can't practice, because I can't shift or do pretty much anything without excruciating pain in my thumb (trust me, I've tried,), so I might do pretty badly. Which might mean sitting out that song at the concert. Blarg.

Oh. Yeah. I sprained my wrist, if you haven't guessed already. It sucks. During P.E. on Tuesday, we were playing paddleball, and a friend and I both went for the ball at the same time. Well, I'm left handed, and she's right handed. We kinda met in the middle. Her paddle came down on my thumb, and for a while we thought it was broken, because of the way I was holding my paddle, where she hit, and the fact that I couldn't bend it at all. Turns out I just sprained it. Damn, no cast. Just a wrap and no schoolwork, P.E., music, etc., until Tuesday. Yay! LOL...

I'm a bit confused about something. There's going to be a holiday dance on December 13, and there's this guy I kind of want to ask, but I don't know how he thinks of me, and what he would say. As far as I know, he only thinks of me as a friend, and I don't want to ruin another friendship, not after the fiasco with Andrew. But how am I gonna know unless I ask? Plus, I don't know if I'm even gonna go. The dances are normally pretty loud, and pretty hot, and the music is not my most favorite. They can be fun if you go with someone, or so I've been told, but I wouldn't know. Stupid internal conflict...

Wow. I just looked at that, and I think it's the longest entry I've ever done, even before I had to delete everything and start over. LOL.

Until next time...

Noelle